I just finished reading my first book of the year, Attached.
If you want to do things differently this year, you probably want to read it too.
It’s not a money book, though.
It’s a relationship psychology book. But there are a few concepts that translate to your money as well.
I bought the book Attached last summer after hearing the recommendation on a podcast, but for whatever reason, I hadn’t opened the Amazon box till earlier this year.
The book’s core premise is that we all have default behaviors in our romantic relationships. These thoughts and behaviors are mostly subconscious and stem from our life experiences.
The authors group those behaviors into three main types. Each type has good and bad behaviors that match a default relationship behavior.
None of those categories is inherently bad. But they are bad if you don’t notice your patterns.
And they are bad if these patterns get in the way of what you want—a healthy, stable relationship.
To read this book, one must be accountable and reflective. Otherwise, they will dismiss it as nonsense.
You need that same accountability to be more financially stable compared to where you are now .
The reason you aren’t where you want to be isn’t because of your job.
It isn’t because of your boss.
It isn’t because of the government.
It isn’t because of your upbringing.
Blaming your shortcomings on external factors feels nice.
But blaming yourself is where progress starts.
You can always control your behaviors.
You cannot control a single external party like your boss or the government.
The book Attached, similarly demonstrates you are more in control of your relationship than you think.
But you must first understand your subconscious tendencies.
Only then can you act to reduce your harmful behaviors. Or, choose a partner (or in the case of money, money habits), which won’t trigger you. Both of you which are in your control.
No more feeling helpless.
No more blaming external parties.
Here are a few questions from an exercise in the book that you can apply to your financial situation as well:
→ What are the recurring behaviors that bring me back to this undesirable current state?
→ Do these behaviors get me closer to what I want?
→ Is there an alternative thought process that could get me to what I want?
→ What is a different (and beneficial), uncomfortable behavior I will try first next time when this happens again?
For the most part, the things we think are getting in the way of our success are just that.
Thoughts.
I’m getting more comfortable with the idea that my thoughts aren’t necessarily real.
And there is some surprising freedom that comes with that.
Have you picked up a new book this year? What did you read, or are you reading?
DM me and let me know!
