Next week is my sister’s boyfriend’s birthday and she wants to get a cake for him.
She sent me pictures of 5 cakes and asked me which one I liked the best.
At first, I didn’t share my opinion.
I told her that these 5 cakes were just variations of two styles.
So, I told her to first decide if she wanted a multiple-tier cake or a single-tier cake.
Since the decision wasn’t really between 5 and was actually just two…
that would make the decision simpler.
Once the layer was decided she could then choose a color and the amount and size of decorations.
Both of which are customizable with the cake maker.
Even after telling her to break down the decision into smaller ones, she still wanted me to tell her which cake I liked the best.
Once I gave her my opinion on “the best” cake, she said she was confused.
She had asked 4 people for their thoughts, and there were three options competing for “best”.
I have had many coaching calls with people that are “confused” about if they should buy a house or where they should buy a house.
The confusion from my coaching clients stems from the same place as my sister’s confusion…
Asking the wrong questions.
You see, every single person she asked about the “best” cake gave their opinion based on their life experience.
So, it’s not surprising that she had 3 versions of “the best”.
I’m honestly surprised it wasn’t 4!
What would have been a better question?
My boyfriend likes “xyz” and for his birthday I want to accomplish “abc” with this cake. Based on that goal… which cake do you think would be the best option for HIM and why?
This is a better question because it provides context and is specific.
It does this in a few ways:
→ provides background on the needs
→ provides background on the goal
→ adds a reminder on the priority
She still would have gotten an answer based on an opinion.
But the additional context would make it more likely to get an answer tailored to what her REAL question is…
Which cake do you think my boyfriend would like the best?
The best cake for me isn’t relevant cause I’m not the one eating the cake…
Just like a coaching client asking me “Would you buy this house?” isn’t relevant because we are not the same person, we don’t have the same goals.
Put simply be specific with your question so that the person you are seeking advice from has a light bulb moment so that they answer the question based on YOUR needs and not theirs.
❌ If you ask, “Which cake do you like the best?” I will give you MY opinion based 100% on what I like
✅ If you ask “Which cake would you pick for a 3-year-old toddler that likes Barbies and fancy clothes?” I will try to put myself in the shoes of a bougie 3 year old Barbie lover when I share my opinion.
Most people are going to assume that the questions you ask are what you want an answer to. So, craft better questions to get better feedback.
If you are confused about whether you should or shouldn’t buy a house, you are either asking the wrong questions and/or unclear on your goals.
Here are examples of better questions you can start asking today to get clarity when buying your first house.
❌ Can I get a mortgage approved for $220K
✅ Based on my income and my credit profile what’s the max mortgage amount I can get pre-approved for to buy a three-family house in Boston, MA?
❌ What’s the best part of town to buy a condo?
✅ I want to buy a condo because I don’t want to deal with yard work. Proximity to i93 is important to me because it’s the quickest highway to my job. What complexes can you think of that meet these criteria?
❌ Should I wait till home prices go down to buy a house?
✅ I am currently paying $2,500 a month for a two bedroom apartment. My lease is up in six months, and I am considering buying a house, but the prices are worrisome. What are the pros and cons of buying now, keeping in mind how much I am currently paying for rent?
Even when asking a more specific question, the answers you get are still going to be based on the experience and perception of the person answering your question.
So, filter the responses you get to your goals. Take the bits that work for you. And then use that to make a decision.
As long as you rely on other people to give you opinions without FIRST being clear with them (and yourself) on what YOU are trying to accomplish, you are going to be confused.
And confusion leads to inaction and stress.
And nobody got time for either one of those.
Remember that the clearest path to getting what you want is to remove distractions. So don’t cloud your focus with information based on irrelevant questions.
Are you asking home buying questions that are leaving you confused? DM me on Instagram and let me know what questions you are asking!
